Saturday, May 2, 2009

"Manipulative Bitch" Has A Nice Ring To It.

I was thinking the other day of ways I could get to The Devil. I mean, really get under her skin.

I've always called her by her first name, although I try and avoid addressing her directly at all. I was thinking that she'd find it very unsettling if, out of the blue, I just started calling her "Mom". I can imagine perfectly her showing up at my door (since I'm no longer welcome in her home, but that's another, very long, post) and me greeting her with a warm smile and a pleasant "Hi, Mom, come on in!" Just picturing the look on her face, and the way she'd be struck speechless for several seconds as she struggled to comprehend what was happening brings me such pleasure! I know she'd find this terribly disturbing and would probably spend days, if not weeks, trying to analyze and understand what this kind of development could mean. I'm sure she'd lose sleep over it. I bet she would call friends and family and ask for advice and opinions on the matter. If only I thought I could actually go through with it. With a straight face.

What do you call your mother-in-law? And what do you call her to her face?

63 comments:

Fragrant Liar said...

Well, I have had three -- count 'em -- three MILs. And I liked them all overall, but each had their annoying quirks. I always called each of them by their first names. I can say now though that I'm glad I don't have one. Singledom has its advantages.

kristi said...

Ok, here's the backfire of calling her "mom", she might think you're trying to suck up. mine would anyway. Maybe you should throw in an "Mrs." in front of her name, just to put her off.
And since you're not welcome at her home anymore does that mean you definitely aren't going to hell?! cause thats a good thing : )

Vivienne @ the V Spot said...

Do your very very best to keep a straight face! I'm intrigued....

bernthis said...

Satan both behind her back and to her face.

DKG aka Scrappy Doo said...

Please do it! Ill be right there with ya in spirit

I call mine Mrs______ (her last name)

Ain't no way in hell I would ever call that thing mother!

Maybe, Mrs.Mother ******!!!!! No, I couldn't even do that cuz I am not sinking to her level


PS Yall don't forget to send those mothers day cards ! heheheheheh

Kristina P. said...

It's so funny, because I call my MIL by her first name. I do love her to death, and she will always refer to herself as Mom. I just can't do it. It's weird to me.

Kimberly said...

I called mine Ms. and then her first name. Overala, my MIL & FIL, for that matter, were the stuff.

However, when I told her her son was leaving me - she asked me directly - "Are you a good wife"?. I said well I cook & clean and she said "no, are you a good wife?" Meaning...do you have sex with my boy...

MoodyMommy said...

I call mine The Nut Job....
To her face I call her by her first name....

At the end of every phone call she says I love you and I hang up....

Sara Rose said...

I loved to drag my MIL's name out in a really droll, affected manner. "Daaaaaaaaaanaaaaaaaaaaahhh" I know it got on her nerves too, she always clenched her jaw and fists reflexively when I would do that. AHahahha!

2 Brits, 2 Yanks, 2 Dogs said...

I do call her by her name although since the kids have been around I just refer to her as Nana - when she was at worst I did call her "bitch" not to her face but she has calmed down since the kids - that's because she realized she is stuck with me.

Hit 40 said...

Depends on my mood... delusional, air head, drama queen, not so bright,...

I guess the names all center around air head.

Anonymous said...

I love my MIL and call her either Mrs. --- or by her first name.

Rainy Kate said...

Just found your blog, and it is hysterical.

I used to call my MIL "Miss _____" because I was raised that that was the polite way to address adults. One day, she apparently had a hissy fit to my then boyfriend about how I was doing it on purpose to make her feel old. She demanded (literally) that I call her just by her first name.

So now, that's what I do.

(She's much better than she used to be because after her ex's mom behaved like an angry, drunk, jilted lover at both our rehearsal and our wedding, we stopped all communication with her. Now the MIL gets that we have limits, and tries not to push them. Plus, we live further away now.)

Unknown said...

I call my MIL by her first name. I dont honestly know her last name. After I married her son, she divorced his father and married(?) the man they had taken in after Katrina hit his home.
It's unclear if they're married. They say they are so they can live together free of meaningful looks. But they're still scheduling the ceremony. So whatever that means... She alternates which last name she uses. So confusing. I call her 'psycho' and 'dumber than a rock' behind her back.

Mother-in-Chronicles said...

Love the blog. It's like one I've started, but yours is better.

I call my mother-in-law by her first name. SHe had three boys and no girls, and if I called her mom she would probably cry from joy, and I wouldn't want to make her that happy. Plus, my mom is all I can handle, I don't need another.

Unknown said...

My SIL and I like to call her "The Diva."

go jump admin said...

my sister in law and i have a few nick names for her.. she went through this faze of calling her self jojo for this kids.. !! so we changed it to hoho or hojo. and we also call her mrs hellwhore .. amungst others usual suspects of bitch, evil witch etc

she is satins mistress!cause she is a ho!

Anonymous said...

I LOVE your blog. To know that there are so many others going through the same hell as I is purely therapeutic!!!

HATE ON!!!

Anonymous said...

It seems there is a lot of anger here from daughters-in-law and, as I am on a quest to figure out why my daughter-in-law -- who gladly and (I thought) sweetly accepted living with me before the marriage rent&utility-free, who accepted my cooking and caring for her when she got sick, who accepted the thousands of dollars and over a hundred hours of work toward her wedding with my son, when her own family did NOTHING and her father didn't even come and, although her mother did come, her mother turned into a screaming she-she who almost got us killed on the freeway while going to get the marriage license at the last minute. Because I asked my daughter-in-law-to-be if she really wanted to marry my son -- because she had procrastinated on the marriage license and such procrastination can sometimes mean that a person doesn't want to go through with something -- she told her photographer friend not to take pictures of me or any of my family. I've been sobbing for days and wonder: why are young women these days so vicious? I thought she was a genuinely sweet person, and my son loves her very much, so I would love her for that alone, but she appears to hate me, even though I have treated her better than her own parents. So, my question is: where is the love and respect of young women for the mothers of their husbands, the mothers who raised their husbands to be "an amazing man, who treats me better than anyone I've ever met" (as my daughter-in-law has said)? Where is the love?

Anonymous said...

MILs should not post here. you will get no love. we are here because we don't like our mils. Anyway I haven't fully decided on a name for my in-laws. He is wormtail and she is either hagface or bitter old hag. depends on my mood.

Anonymous said...

MILs who read here and are horrified.....you have a choice! There's a liiiiittle red 'x' at the top of the page. CLICK IT.
I call mine Trashula. She had NOTHING to do with what a wonderful man my husband turned out to be. No wait, scratch that....she showed such a ROTTEN example of what a mother should be, he chose the exact opposite in his spouse. So thanks Trashula, I did benefit from what an awful mother you were, and as a result your grandchild will never have to RAISE HIMSELF like his father did!!
To her face, which is as infrequently as I can possibly manage, I call her by her first name. I never refer to her as 'your mother' when talking about her most recent ass-hatted behavior, to my husband. I call her by her first name so that there's NO question that I'm complaining about this person "C", vs insinuating any ownership of her.

Anonymous said...

LOL... I found this site when I googled 'manipulative bitch'.. but I was looking for advice on what to do about my daughter in law. Something tells me I"m not going to find it here..

bye.. be nice guys. We're not all bad.

Anonymous said...

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Anonymous said...

My mother in law is just not enough words describe her, she has never been there for her son, and could care less where she is or what she does, his step father beat the crap out oh him, along with her, she was always "living her life' choosing her friends over him, and now she does the same with my children. We have not seen her since July she sends cards to the children for whatever holiday, but she walked out and I guess wants me to BEG her to come see my children, well I dont think so. She refers to me as the airhead and calls me a dumbblonde but little does she know that had it not been for me all these years, she would not have seen her grandchildren. When my son was born a year ago, my husband did not even call and tell his Mother that he was born, he did not want her near his child, he does not want her alone with either of his children so what does that tell you?? She tries to be controlling, but it never works out she has to have everything "her" way, there is a whole lot more that I could say on her and how she has been over the past many years, my daughter now, I tell her that her grandmother has sent her a card and i'll read it to her, but she doesnt care, she is old enough now she remembers more and my husband has had enough, I can relate to

Anonymous said...

does ur husband know about this blog?

Anonymous said...

My MIL and I sometimes get along. It is weird... I have tried to figure out if the problem is my attitude or hers. The more I go over things in my head, I believe it is her! I refer to her as IT. "It is coming for a visit." I call her IT because, I don't know how the visit will go. It seems to go ok when we go to her house, but when she comes to mine, she pulls a stink. (that is what I like to call it).
I have 3 boys of my own, and I worry that if this is me, I will lose them when they marry. I am a chatty, usually happy person. But I am sure I am also a type A... which can be bad. I voice my opinion and I respect others opinions. Who knows how it will turn out???

Anonymous said...

I've had two mother-in-laws and thought that was a challenge, but honestly it was NOTHING compared with having the bitchy daughter-in-law. No matter how my MIL treated me, I was civil and we worked things out, and ended up good friends. But the daughter-in-law refused to look at me or respond to greetings, then periodically will send a text saying she is leaving my son to "get me off her back" when I am already allowed zero contact. Has torn the entire family apart.

Anonymous said...

I have read so many comments in here about DIL's disliking their MIL's and visa verse. What is the real problems anyway? Can't you just treat your husbands mother with just a little repect.Surly, you do have the option to establish and set comfortable boundries or limits with them. What is it that builds all these hateful words and feelings. Could it be your own insecurity, jealousy that is the real issue here? I have found that lack of communication on both parts plays a big part in what is being said here, so why not try working on better communication and set boundries.

Anonymous said...

First half
Continued on next post

My DIL has a history of abnormal behavior. Her parents have told us that she has memories of events as a child that did not happen and she admits she was an anorexic teen. Our family of 4 was very close which makes this so extremely painful. An interesting thing to note is that I was approached by several of my son’s friends, male and female, before my son and DIL married, voicing their concerns about my DIL. Her mother even told me "You'll see." But I had a lot of faith in my son's judgement and we opened our family to her gladly.

My DIL is very intelligent but often states information that isn’t always based on fact. For example, I recently spoke to my niece, a stay at home mom. My DIL told my niece that her in-laws, my husband and I, didn’t support her not working. Neither my husband or I have EVER voiced an opinion on the subject. It’s none of our business and we know they’re smart enough to figure out their own lives. She has confided to my two sisters that I didn’t care much about being a grandmother, which couldn't be further from the truth.

On a public forum (which she posts to 20+ times a day) she writes distinct jabs about us that seem innocuous to the uniformed, but leave deep wounds to those involved. It is her sole communication of choice and is angered by anyone that doesn’t use it. My son doesn’t read the forums and his only connection to them comes from my DIL.

She attacks us one at a time, attempting to turn us against that person. It started before they were married when she tried to alienate my daughter. Even her own family isn’t spared. She attempted to form an intervention for her mother, but it was squelched by her mother’s sisters. It infuriated my DIL.

Anonymous said...

Her recent anger with me involves a story that my husband (and son's dad) got angry and poked her repeatedly in the chest with his finger leaving bruises. I was there. That did not happen. My son was there and he cannot (or will not) say that he saw it happen. He doesn't want to upset her. She is very angry with me because I will not say it happened. She's told people that if her FIL was not a family member she would have had him arrested for assault. I’m the first one to say he was embarrassingly loud and obnoxious because he was drunk. Anyone that knows me knows I hate his drinking. I’ve hated it all my married life and I am very vocal about it. That day he was responding to insults she made to his occupation. But he did not touch her.

It breaks my heart. I miss my grandchild. My DIL answers their home phone, my son's phone (unless he's at work), answers his work email if we send there. He is a professional who works as many as 12 hours at a time, so it’s already difficult to contact him. However 2 weeks ago I did get through to him to set up a visit that included my daughter. She would drive the 3 hours from her home and I was coming the 2.5 hours from my place and we’d arrive about the same time.

Before the visit, my DIL posted to the public forum that she would be insane by Sunday night, which was the day of our planned visit. My daughter and I decided it was best for her not to come. One of us would be enough. We were walking on eggshells trying not to upset my DIL and risk losing the visit. She later said that she had no idea we were coming and the post had nothing to do with us. The visit had been set up for over a week.

The visit started out ok, if not somewhat tense, but ended with a very disturbing and scary episode with my grandchild present. After being pulled aside by his wife for a private discussion, my son asked me why his sister hadn’t come. I told him we thought it was best because we didn’t want to upset my DIL who is 7 months pregnant. That was when all hell broke loose. Even though both my daughter and I had spoken to my son for the past week about it, I was told that if I wanted to come to their house, that I should have the decency to call first. I was confused since I had been talking to my son about it for a while. She was furious that I wouldn’t “admit” the poking episode. My son would only say his father wagged his finger in her face, which further infuriated her. I told my son quietly that I couldn’t do this in front of his child and that I shouldn't have come. My grandchild held her arms up to me crying, saying grandma, grandma. All I could think to do to make it end was leave. Which I did shaking and in tears and while hearing wailing and screaming until I got in my car and shut the door. It was horrible. There is so much more

I haven’t heard anything from my son.

She posted to the public forum how wonderful it was to have her husband on her side.

Anonymous said...

Her recent anger with me involves a story that my husband (and son's dad) got angry and poked her repeatedly in the chest with his finger leaving bruises. I was there. That did not happen. My son was there and he cannot (or will not) say that he saw it happen. He doesn't want to upset her. She is very angry with me because I will not say it happened. She's told people that if her FIL was not a family member she would have had him arrested for assault. I’m the first one to say he was embarrassingly loud and obnoxious because he was drunk. Anyone that knows me knows I hate his drinking. I’ve hated it all my married life and I am very vocal about it. That day he was responding to insults she made to his occupation. But he did not touch her.

It breaks my heart. I miss my grandchild. My DIL answers their home phone, my son's phone (unless he's at work), answers his work email if we send there. He is a professional who works as many as 12 hours at a time, so it’s already difficult to contact him. However 2 weeks ago I did get through to him to set up a visit that included my daughter. She would drive the 3 hours from her home and I was coming the 2.5 hours from my place and we’d arrive about the same time.

Before the visit, my DIL posted to the public forum that she would be insane by Sunday night, which was the day of our planned visit. My daughter and I decided it was best for her not to come. One of us would be enough. We were walking on eggshells trying not to upset my DIL and risk losing the visit. She later said that she had no idea we were coming and the post had nothing to do with us. The visit had been set up for over a week.

The visit started out ok, if not somewhat tense, but ended with a very disturbing and scary episode with my grandchild present. After being pulled aside by his wife for a private discussion, my son asked me why his sister hadn’t come. I told him we thought it was best because we didn’t want to upset my DIL who is 7 months pregnant. That was when all hell broke loose. Even though both my daughter and I had spoken to my son for the past week about it, I was told that if I wanted to come to their house, that I should have the decency to call first. I was confused since I had been talking to my son about it for a while. She was furious that I wouldn’t “admit” the poking episode. My son would only say his father wagged his finger in her face, which further infuriated her. I told my son quietly that I couldn’t do this in front of his child and that I shouldn't have come. My grandchild held her arms up to me crying, saying grandma, grandma. All I could think to do to make it end was leave. Which I did shaking and in tears and while hearing wailing and screaming until I got in my car and shut the door. It was horrible. There is so much more

I haven’t heard anything from my son.

She posted to the public forum how wonderful it was to have her husband on her side.

Anonymous said...

Her recent anger with me involves a story that my husband (and son's dad) got angry and poked her repeatedly in the chest with his finger leaving bruises. I was there. That did not happen. My son was there and he cannot (or will not) say that he saw it happen. He doesn't want to upset her. She is very angry with me because I will not say it happened. She's told people that if her FIL was not a family member she would have had him arrested for assault. I’m the first one to say he was embarrassingly loud and obnoxious because he was drunk. Anyone that knows me knows I hate his drinking. I’ve hated it all my married life and I am very vocal about it. That day he was responding to insults she made to his occupation. But he did not touch her.

It breaks my heart. I miss my grandchild. My DIL answers their home phone, my son's phone (unless he's at work), answers his work email if we send there. He is a professional who works as many as 12 hours at a time, so it’s already difficult to contact him. However 2 weeks ago I did get through to him to set up a visit that included my daughter. She would drive the 3 hours from her home and I was coming the 2.5 hours from my place and we’d arrive about the same time.

Before the visit, my DIL posted to the public forum that she would be insane by Sunday night, which was the day of our planned visit. My daughter and I decided it was best for her not to come. One of us would be enough. We were walking on eggshells trying not to upset my DIL and risk losing the visit. She later said that she had no idea we were coming and the post had nothing to do with us. The visit had been set up for over a week.

The visit started out ok, if not somewhat tense, but ended with a very disturbing and scary episode with my grandchild present. After being pulled aside by his wife for a private discussion, my son asked me why his sister hadn’t come. I told him we thought it was best because we didn’t want to upset my DIL who is 7 months pregnant. That was when all hell broke loose. Even though both my daughter and I had spoken to my son for the past week about it, I was told that if I wanted to come to their house, that I should have the decency to call first. I was confused since I had been talking to my son about it for a while. She was furious that I wouldn’t “admit” the poking episode. My son would only say his father wagged his finger in her face, which further infuriated her. I told my son quietly that I couldn’t do this in front of his child and that I shouldn't have come. My grandchild held her arms up to me crying, saying grandma, grandma. All I could think to do to make it end was leave. Which I did shaking and in tears and while hearing wailing and screaming until I got in my car and shut the door. It was horrible. There is so much more

I haven’t heard anything from my son.

She posted to the public forum how wonderful it was to have her husband on her side.

Anonymous said...

Her recent anger with me involves a story that my husband (and son's dad) got angry and poked her repeatedly in the chest with his finger leaving bruises. I was there. That did not happen. My son was there and he cannot (or will not) say that he saw it happen. He doesn't want to upset her. She is very angry with me because I will not say it happened. She's told people that if her FIL was not a family member she would have had him arrested for assault. I’m the first one to say he was embarrassingly loud and obnoxious because he was drunk. Anyone that knows me knows I hate his drinking. I’ve hated it all my married life and I am very vocal about it. That day he was responding to insults she made to his occupation. But he did not touch her.

It breaks my heart. I miss my grandchild. My DIL answers their home phone, my son's phone (unless he's at work), answers his work email if we send there. He is a professional who works as many as 12 hours at a time, so it’s already difficult to contact him. However 2 weeks ago I did get through to him to set up a visit that included my daughter. She would drive the 3 hours from her home and I was coming the 2.5 hours from my place and we’d arrive about the same time.

Before the visit, my DIL posted to the public forum that she would be insane by Sunday night, which was the day of our planned visit. My daughter and I decided it was best for her not to come. One of us would be enough. We were walking on eggshells trying not to upset my DIL and risk losing the visit. She later said that she had no idea we were coming and the post had nothing to do with us. The visit had been set up for over a week.

The visit started out ok, if not somewhat tense, but ended with a very disturbing and scary episode with my grandchild present. After being pulled aside by his wife for a private discussion, my son asked me why his sister hadn’t come. I told him we thought it was best because we didn’t want to upset my DIL who is 7 months pregnant. That was when all hell broke loose. Even though both my daughter and I had spoken to my son for the past week about it, I was told that if I wanted to come to their house, that I should have the decency to call first. I was confused since I had been talking to my son about it for a while. She was furious that I wouldn’t “admit” the poking episode. My son would only say his father wagged his finger in her face, which further infuriated her. I told my son quietly that I couldn’t do this in front of his child and that I shouldn't have come. My grandchild held her arms up to me crying, saying grandma, grandma. All I could think to do to make it end was leave. Which I did shaking and in tears and while hearing wailing and screaming until I got in my car and shut the door. It was horrible. There is so much more

I haven’t heard anything from my son.

She posted to the public forum how wonderful it was to have her husband on her side.

Anonymous said...

Her recent anger with me involves a story that my husband (and son's dad) got angry and poked her repeatedly in the chest with his finger leaving bruises. I was there. That did not happen. My son was there and he cannot (or will not) say that he saw it happen. He doesn't want to upset her. She is very angry with me because I will not say it happened. She's told people that if her FIL was not a family member she would have had him arrested for assault. I’m the first one to say he was embarrassingly loud and obnoxious because he was drunk. Anyone that knows me knows I hate his drinking. I’ve hated it all my married life and I am very vocal about it. That day he was responding to insults she made to his occupation. But he did not touch her.

It breaks my heart. I miss my grandchild. My DIL answers their home phone, my son's phone (unless he's at work), answers his work email if we send there. He is a professional who works as many as 12 hours at a time, so it’s already difficult to contact him. However 2 weeks ago I did get through to him to set up a visit that included my daughter. She would drive the 3 hours from her home and I was coming the 2.5 hours from my place and we’d arrive about the same time.

Before the visit, my DIL posted to the public forum that she would be insane by Sunday night, which was the day of our planned visit. My daughter and I decided it was best for her not to come. One of us would be enough. We were walking on eggshells trying not to upset my DIL and risk losing the visit. She later said that she had no idea we were coming and the post had nothing to do with us. The visit had been set up for over a week.

The visit started out ok, if not somewhat tense, but ended with a very disturbing and scary episode with my grandchild present. After being pulled aside by his wife for a private discussion, my son asked me why his sister hadn’t come. I told him we thought it was best because we didn’t want to upset my DIL who is 7 months pregnant. That was when all hell broke loose. Even though both my daughter and I had spoken to my son for the past week about it, I was told that if I wanted to come to their house, that I should have the decency to call first. I was confused since I had been talking to my son about it for a while. She was furious that I wouldn’t “admit” the poking episode. My son would only say his father wagged his finger in her face, which further infuriated her. I told my son quietly that I couldn’t do this in front of his child and that I shouldn't have come. My grandchild held her arms up to me crying, saying grandma, grandma. All I could think to do to make it end was leave. Which I did shaking and in tears and while hearing wailing and screaming until I got in my car and shut the door. It was horrible. There is so much more

I haven’t heard anything from my son.

She posted to the public forum how wonderful it was to have her husband on her side.

Anonymous said...

Anonymous too - I wish I could talk to you in person I had two sons & one passed away and the DIL's ganged up on us. Now we have no family. What is up with these women and their need for attention? To all the DIL's out there in the world you need to grow up and show some respect to others. Stop acting as if you are still in high school. You do not have to be a bully-drama queen-or controling you choose to be!

Anonymous said...

FIRST off, I call my DIL charming names like: "scumbag" "baby trap" "drama queen wanna be" "white trash ho" "dirty ho" "slut" "tramp" "liar" "bitch" and think even worse of her since she, in spite of everyone in our family trying to like and embrace her, has done nothing but cause trouble and start drama. She has been determined to have MIL problems, SIL problems, BIL problems, FIL problems, blah, blah blah, and she finally has one, a big one. I have 3 DILs (3 sons). Never had a problem until oldest son married a manipulative, selfish, liar who immediately began causing divisions in family. She's an evil, horrible person and my son is learning the hard way as he has NO family left that invites them or interacts with them. DIL has been caught in so many lies. She mainly focuses on the women, not so much the men unless they don't support her, or call her on something. Since we've gotten to know her, we see the same pattern in her own family (she has 4 brothers, no sisters) where she has her own mother as enemy #1 and constantly talks crap about her to get attention or just cause alienation for her poor mom. DIL is such a pathalogical that she went to MY husband's work (3 times) to tell him she "needed him" "needed a ally" "needed support" and then proceeded to tell him some lie about something I had done. Luckily, my hubby and I are close, 32 years of marriage, raising 3 sons, no drama, and we communicate well. I'm SICK SICK SICK of her stupid ass. This 30 year old piece of work had an "accidental" pregnancy (which was just a trap to bring my son back to her as he was trying to break it off), she had a prior "accidental" pregnancy and ran that child's entire family off using parent/grandparent alienation and moving off to make it impossible for them to have access. Needless to say, we don't get to see our only grandchild. Here's the deal though for you other MILs with a DIL who uses the kids as weapons: Get cards for every event: birthdays, holidays, spring, etc... write in them including the date. Include money you might have spent if the horrible DIL allowed you in the kid's life. Put them all in a box with the grandkid's name on it. When that grandkid gets older, they'll be looking for family. When they find you, tell them you always loved them but circumstances didn't allow you to be active in their life. Give them the box, it's all the proof you need and it will help open the door to a relationship. A relationship that starts when they're 16, 17 or 18 and lasts until death is a treasure to wait for. In the end, the evil DILs will get what they deserve, both on this earth and in the next life!

Anonymous said...

Whew what a bunch of bitchy hateful postings. Yes it's always the mother in laws fault, isn't it... Heaven forbid that some of you take a hard look at yourselves!

Anonymous said...

Wow! I came across this forum while looking for something else. I couldn't help myself from reading because I have certain feelings towards my MIL and SILs. Although I have certain views about my MIL, I do not disrespect her because I love my husband and her grandchildren.

His family never cared for me that much. He is the only boy and the oldest of three kids. He was a father figure for his sisters. He was quite a ladies man when we met. For that reason they would eventually say things like "she sunk her hooks into him", or "she is a sneaky manipulative bitch." But we just truly fell in love and the rest is 20 years of history!

His family and I accept each other and we get along fine. But it was not that way many years ago. When we had kids, I guess they accepted the fact that we were going to be together. My husband and I come from two different types of families. My family is close. His family smiles in each others faces and talks bad about everyone, even their own family members. I remember a few times when my hubby or SILs invited friends over. His mom and sisters talked trash about their guests before they could even get down the driveway! All I could think was "Damn! I thought these people were your friends!What do you guys say when I leave?"

I honestly believe they will always view me as an outsider. In their defense, I was something else at 18 years old. My temper was hot and they always knew how to take me there. They were always in our business yet they never knew what they were talking about. But they would mainly do and say these things behind my back. Or they would treat me nicely in front of hubby (boyfriend at the time) and nasty when he was not around. I tried so hard to get them to like me. However, I have never been a fake person. So those times I found out they had talked about me or they hurt my feelings, I would let them all know they could kiss my ass(which did not help lol).Back then, my attitude was "if they could not respect me, then I could not respect them." So many things happened back then. His mom even tried to fight me once over nonsense! She knew I would not fight her because of her son. But what she didn't know is that if it were not for me, her ass would have been whooped because her son has a MIL too(I'm close with my mom). However,as I got older, I just tried to keep the peace(I'm 39).Just let the in-laws act crazy by themselves. I chose not to be a part of the silliness. It was really just jealousy. "Big brother wasn't around for me when he met you or my only son is giving away my attention"...blah blah blah

When they come visit, I just play the back and let them have all the time they need with the kids and hubby. All of that stuff and so much more is water under the bridge. I don't want them thinking I do not want them around.

One of his sisters has a 4 year-old son now. I love my nephew so much! He and my kids get along great. There is a big age difference but they love each other dearly. For some reason my MIL treats her other grandchild different than my kids. I constantly remind myself to pick and choose my battles in life. In other words, they can treat me like crap.But I will never let them treat my children the way they have treated me.My kids are all that matter.

I just wanted to share my situation because I do not believe that all DILs & MILs are selfish. I just think that everyone should respect each other and stay in their places. If everyone plays their positions,respects,& stops judging each other everything would be fine.

As MILs and DILs, we are not supposed to control son/hubby and tug him in opposite directions. But the HUSBANDS need to stand up, be men, and squash the nonsense. He has more control than he may think.

Overall, I love my in-laws. We don't have to forget, just forgive and try to move forward for everyone's sanity and peace of mind.

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Anonymous said...

Oh wow. I have a crazy, manipulative and hateful DIL. She came from scum and cannot rise above it. She is so insecure she brings up what she thinks are "slights " from 20 years ago. I cannot talk to my son without finding out later this triggered a fight between them. She won't come to my dinners and never says thank you for anything. She recently attacked me verbally on a publuc forum along with an equally hateful sister. I give up. If my son won't stand up for me then I will bow out and just let them live their sick and misguided lives. No more for me. Abuse is abuse and I cannot tolerate this treatment anymore. I am just going to live my life. So be it. I will always love my son, but this is ridiculous.

Anonymous said...

I know exactly how you feel. I, too have no contact with my son for the same reasons. She apparently feels threatened by me in some way. Could it be because I am a professional and college educated while she chooses to do nothing except expect my son to wait on her hand and foot while she lounges in her messy house? Yes, unbelievably he cooks, cleans and shops while she bosses him about. It's almost more than I can stand. Worst of all she literally screams at him for the smallest infraction. I want to shake him and say, "wake up will you?"

Anonymous said...

At least you extend her that invitation which is more than my DIL does. Work it out. I would love to at least have that chance. (Speaking as a shunned and hated MIL)

Anonymous said...

No wonder if you never get along with YOUR HUSBANDS MOTHER. Shame on you. And furthermore I am glad to make your day in saying that you, missy are undoubtedly a bitch. hopefully your MIL has some equally attractive names for you. You get what you dish out .Why not cut the drama and respect her for being the mother of the man you supposedly love? You are causing him pain by not accepting his parents.

Anonymous said...

So it is obvious to me that while you have a great imagination on hateful names for your in-laws you might benefit more from a hate management class. I think a good name for you might be bitch. Good grief! Not all in laws are difficult. Look in the mirror. The problem might be you. Remember. It's your husbands parents you bash and if you love him- try to work it out. Shame on you!

Anonymous said...

From my prior post I forgot to mention my son works a full time job and also does volunteer work. He is not lazy. She is. Enough said. All I want is to see my son, talk to him and know my grandchildren. Too much to ask?

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Doesn't change the fact she is who she is. She gave birth to your husband. Respect that. You aren't being nice. Stop it.

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