Saturday, June 13, 2009

Should I Bring This Up In Couple's Therapy?

In a moment of weakness, I allowed myself to be convinced to visit The Devil.

I should explain that my husband (The Anti-Christ?) and I have had our share of issues, but in a recent attempt to promote marital harmony, I agreed to accompany him and our children to the house of The Devil. I hemmed and hawed and made excuses and placed conditions, but in the end, I relented.

Big. Fucking. Mistake.

I should have known the evening was destined to end disastrously when my husband (The Anti-Christ?) and I had the following conversation on the drive over:

A-C: Well, your mom probably hates me.

DDIL: No, my mom loves you like a son, even though you've done some shitty things. Because, you know, she's, like, normal and wants the best for us. Unlike some other mother I know who hates me even though I've never done a thing wrong to her, ever.*

A-C: My mom doesn't hate you, she thinks you hate her.

DDIL: No comment.

So, I sat, being eaten alive by demon mosquitoes in The Devil's backyard, and watched my children splash happily in The Devil's pool and listened to The Devil recount her week's activities of shopping, yoga, British television programming, new prescription medications and earlier that day, lunch with a friend of her's and the friend's daughters. Of course, my husband, being a dutiful and attentive minion son asked how she enjoyed her lunch, which she must have interpreted as "Hey, mom, can you tell us about your lunch and find a way to piss off DDIL while you're at it?"

So, she spends the next 15 minutes telling us how all she heard the entire time at lunch from the friend's daughters was how "hot" A-C was. How he's so good-looking, he could be a model. How nobody would believe he's married, with children. Of course, The Devil thought it necessary to add:

"I don't think DDIL knows how lucky she is, with such a hot-looking husband!"

Meaning what? I'm such a fucking ugly dog-face that I should be grateful she allowed her "hot" son to have sex with me multiple times? I'm really not a jealous person, but the fact that I know she said these things to get under my skin infuriates me. And it infuriates me because I know she said these things knowing that it could create discord for us, at a time when we're already struggling to keep our marriage and family together. And it infuriates me that I let her infuriate me.

I held my tongue and tried to not let on that she accomplished her goal. I bit my lip when she insisted we stay for dinner. I swallowed the bile that rose to my mouth when she licked her fingers after dinner while complaining about not being able to lose any weight. I resisted making any snide comments when The Devil lamented her daughter's poor choice in boyfriends. And I kept my thoughts to myself when my husband (The Anti-Christ?) mentioned that night that I seemed upset. All for the sake of marital harmony.

And because I'm afraid if I mention it, my husband (The Anti-Christ?) may, with good intentions, tell his mother that her comments were inappropriate. And I'd rather have every last ounce of blood in my body drained by those demon mosquitoes than give her that satisfaction.

Live and learn, I guess. Learn to avoid The Devil like the bloated, white-haired, drunken plague.

*Not counting creating this blog, of course, because as far as I know, The Devil and my husband (The Anti-Christ?) are none the wiser.


Mother-in-Chronicles said...

Good for you for biting your tongue. I'm not sure I could have.

The Wife O Riley said...

Good for you not to let on that she got to you. Make her think that her comments are as insignificant as the lives of those mosquitoes.

kmoye said...

DDIL, keep letting those Demon bugs bite you because by being there it proves you are the bigger person. However, next time I'd bring some DEET and I might would spray it right near her face in hopes that by breathing it she dies. You never know DEET might kill Devils.

Housewife Savant said...

Well written.
A horrible experience, but dang well written.

I would SO not be as cool as you are in your shoes.
SO not.

Beckie said...

Your ability to hold your tongue impresses me greatly! I would have popped off with something rude and sarcastic, marital harmony or no. LoL. I hopped over here from Green Momster's Blog and enjoy reading your blogs! Thank you! :)

Darrick & Melanie said...

I think I would have very sympathetically offered her the number of my optometrist to give to her friend's daughter.

(Which is of course not a comment on your husband's actual appearance but on her rudeness)

bernthis said...

At least she has a pool right? Okay, forget it.

Logical Libby said...

You haven't told your husband about this blog? You do know what happens when you anger the Anti-Christ, right?

I'll be praying for you...

kel said...

I don't think she realizes how lucky she is that you didn't straight up murder her fat ass.

ps. Changed my blog name from Girl n the Glasses to

Green-Eyed Momster said...

Gosh, I wish I had advice for you. You have twice as many followers as I do and I think that blogging is cheaper than therapy. Hopefully, you'll find some good advice from your other followers!! My MIL was the sweetest lady in the world and then she died. I'm sorry that The Devil is so mean to you. I hate mean people. Maybe you should tell her to join my P.E.N.I.S. Foundation. See the picture at the bottom of my blog!
Thanks for following me. You made my day!!


Tammy Howard said...

How awesome is it, though, that you have this great forum in which to get it all out AND amuse and entertain so many of us while you do it?

Not enough compensation?

Then I got nuthin'. Sorry.

Kay said...

Is it wrong that I was thinking of ways to... uhm... enhance her meal next time with something along the lines of ex-lax or any other amusing (for you) ingredient?

And btw - I'm pretty sure you married my hubby's cousin. Because your MIL and my MIL can't both be the devil, so let's assume they're sisters.

But that's okay - because in the end? You'll win. That's what matters. My MIL hates me more than ever now, refuses to even call my house :) Mission accomplished.

erin said...

I wonder sometimes if those Mother In Law types really realize how much harm they're putting on us lowly Daughter In Laws. I went through so much tumult with my ex MIL...she ripped me apart and I just stood there and took it like a know.
Now I wish just once I would have put on my biggest smile and came to her home prepared with a notebook of things she said that broke my heart. Then, without crying I would recited each, how it made me feel and how depressed I became after just thinking about seeing her again. Then I would have asked her, for my sake and the sake of my children to please not make me come to her house in the middle of the night and smother her with a pillow.

Aludra said...

If she thinks she got to you and tries to use the "your husband/my son is hot" later, you should definitely come back with, "He looks so much like his father! We have such great taste in men." Or if his dad is ugly, say "He must have inherited those looks from fed-ex guy!" Add some humor to it and a dash of sting that it isn't her genes giving him his looks :)

Collette said...

I know I would have had to say something. Good you have this blog as a log of all the evil she does. It may be useful to use against her one day.
Maybe you should have a priest bless the pool, making it holy water.

Heather said...

OH I'm going to add myself to your list of followers! I have a father-in-law (the DEVIL). We could relate and relent to together!

Kari said...

Wow. Truth is stranger than fiction. Or crazier.

I've got some great stories of the torture my High School boyfriend's Mother put me through...thank God I didn't marry him. My husband's Mother died before I met him. I swear, after the HS boyfriend experience, I actually think that they fact that I wouldn't have a MIL actually made me more attracted to my husband.

Griz said...

Hi, I don't think we've met, but I think your Mom in law has a twin sister named Pat...I call her "The Pat" I love your blog, I am so sick of hearing about people with good mothers in law. a breath of fresh air. thank you thank you.

Meeko Fabulous said...

OMG! You are farking hilarious! I hope you don't mind if I follow! :)

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