Wednesday, June 24, 2009

The Silver Lining On The Fucked-Up, Drug-Addicted Cloud

Thanks to a reader, Katie, for sending her story.

I married a great guy, who had primary responsibility for three young children. Love the kids. Hate their mom (a whole other blog I suppose.) His mom, well, I knew she talked about me behind my back but was super-great to my face. You know the type, right? Made me paranoid. For 7 or 8 years. Doesn't anymore.

Why not?

Well, my friends, it's because I found out she doesn't know what the hell she ever talks about and no one ever believes her because they all know she's a druggie. No, not coke and heroin drugs, but steal-'em-from-your-friends and shop-around-at-hospitals drugs. Found this out in the best possible way.

My oldest had his tonsils out at age 7 or 8. The hospital sent him home with liquid Tylenol-3, you know, the fun kind with Codeine in it. Was giving him a dose every morning and every night for about a week so about half the bottle was left. The last dose I gave him, he commented that it didn't taste so bad anymore. "It almost tastes like water now!" Hmmm. Water? Really? Dipped my finger in it and discovered we'd performed a miracle in our house. Backwards, though. We'd turned T-3 into water! Hallelujah! Actually, guess who'd come to babysit while I'd run to the grocery store? Yep! Druggie gramma! Seems like she'd downed half a bottle of T-3 while taking care of my four small children. Awesome!!! But since I didn't know it yet, our suspicions actually turned to my teenage sons. . . which is fabulous to contemplate. Your teens are not only taking drugs but have stooped to the level of stealing it from their young siblings. It was a shitty moment. Thankfully,we didn't confront them (since it turns out they didn't do it) we just put things away in, we thought, a safer place. About 6 months later, I had my gallbladder removed and things became much clearer. Since I had four young children, Drug-gramma (henceforth to be known as D-G) took my kids for a few nights because I couldn't lift the children and was in a LOT of pain. My vicodin was stashed in the upstairs bathroom cabinet. Strangely, when D-G brought the children over for a visit two days post op (actually to dump them on me because she suddenly had some mysterious errand) she did something very strange, had to use the upstairs bathroom about 15 minutes after using our downstairs bathroom. Oh, and she rummaged our kitchen cabinets 'looking for a glass' even though she'd hit the glasses in the first cupboard. So that night I got my drugs out (again -- two days post op and in a LOT of pain) and realized there weren't quite as many. So Hubby and I counted. She'd taken over HALF my prescription. Guess I should be thankful it wasn't ALL like she did to her grandson.

Anyway, over the years we've confronted, ignored, tried to deal with and get her to deal with her problems. But we've maintained the relationship because the grandkids love her (who wouldn't love a gramma who let you do whatever you wanted and fed you tons of junk food?), but the final straw happened last December when our oldest son, her oldest grandchild, got married. Oh, yeah. We have a D-G wedding story.

Instead of coming to first grandson's wedding, she was at the ER shopping for drugs. So I called her on the phone in her room at the ER, and upon getting her on the phone (here she's thinking I'm going to commiserate) I sweetly informed her that if she didn't get her fucking druggie ass to her grandsons fucking wedding she wouldn't see her grandchildren again. The loving words that flowed from my mouth would've made a sailor blush.

So now she's comparing me to my husband's psycho ex-wife (when I say psycho I mean it because the woman's spent over three years of the last 12 in the psych ward) and telling everyone that I'm a bitch. I guess the silver lining is that she no longer has any friends (because she's stolen drugs from all of them) or anyone to believe her, so the word that I'm a bitch isn't spreading far.

Cuz I'm a silver-lining type of gal.


Housewife Savant said...

This is well-written.
A nightmare.
But well-written.
My sympathies to you.
(And a pat on the back for m'self, because OMG I ROCK at being MIL!!)

Green-Eyed Momster said...

Oh my, you've got quite a family. How old is she? I can't believe she actually did that, but I know you wouldn't lie to me....
Some people, huh?

Maybe it's time for an intervention?


AVON Lady said...

Perhaps you need to request samples of some medication that causes constant trips to the bathroom and leave those out.

Or get placebo ones for her to take instead. Can we say grandma druggie has is ready for her Lifetime movie debut..

Griz said...

W O W (note the use of the spacebar between the letters to add effect)

My mother in law (not so much a druggie) but could be eventually, if the pharm companies are lucky.

We went to Hawaii as a family. 6 out of the 6 days we were there she had to take a 'pill cocktail' (silly lush) to 'detox' from the day. IT's HAWAII! What the Eff is so damn stressful that you need to detox? Damn sand in the swimsuit...I mean REALLY! Needless to say it turned out to be a fantastic vaca (mainly because she was stone cold sleeping 4-6 hours during the day and at least 10 hours at night.

Kimberly said...

Damn...I miss all the drama!

@eloh said...

If I could ever figure a way out to send you the story of my third MIL...I would...swear you'd think I was lieing.

This, just wow. So So many ways I would have had me some fun. I am bad, bad, DIL cause I would have found a way to either constipate the hell out of her or have her crapping brown juice into her shoes for days. See, I'm bad. Then I would have laughed and laughed and laughed.

Beckie said...

If you still allow her in your house, I'd lock up everything in the garage. And tell her as soon as she gets there, " By the way, you won't find ANY kind of medicine in our home when you come over so don't bother looking." It'll make her feel like an ass and stop her from stealing from you. What a wacko MIL you have...I'm sorry.

The Devil's Daughter-In-Law said...

@eloh, I like your style.

There's a little link to my email right over there on the sidebar.


You can send your third-MIL story that way! I'd love to share it here!

The Peach Tart said...

Well luckily my mother-in-law is dead but your mil sounds a lot like my Mama who on top of taking too many drugs, is bi-polar and an alcoholic. I feel for you but you are right to set boundaries with her especially around your children.

Funny in my mind said...

I guess she has been confronted? I feel a lot better about my own MIL. Great story!

Fragrant Liar said...

Yeah, I'd be sure she knew there were cameras in all the bathrooms and you put them there specifically for her, and that all the kids know what she's up to. Shit like that has a harder time existing when the whole world knows the truth.

Katie said...

UPDATE: D-G failed to come to my 18 year old step-daughter's graduation party, although said grand/step daughter wrote her a little note asking her to please come. With stress on the 'please.' Yeah. We suspect one of the many reasons D-G did not attend was she has, over the course of the last 2 years, borrowed over $5,000 from my hubby's ex-wife. Yep -- the one she purportedly hates. The one who's been in the psych ward. And -- AND -- is NOW A DRUG AND ALCHOHOL COUNSELOR!!!!!! And who knows about D-G's little 'problem.' So let's get on the good side of your ex-mother-in-law with the drug problem by GIVING HER MONEY. Super-smart! Ex-wife, two years ago, got a hefty settlement for running into a moving train (did I ever mention she tends to be suicidal?) on a dark and stormy night (there might be a poem in there.) And now that she's spent through her settlement and still has mounds of debt, she's taken legal action against D-G, who is telling the world SHE'S lent money to Ex-wife, (her ex-daughter-in-law.) Meanwhile, D-G's hubby, and my hubby's father, walks around feeling super-superior to his Druggie wife and telling the world how he's been suffering. But do ya think he could look into rehab? Nah. It would take away too many excuses and he might have to end up washing (or warshing) his own undies. Awesome.

Cinthia said...

Totally sucks that it happened to you but what an AWESOME story, and great job on how you told it... Damn, you just never know about some people... even grandmas!!

Anonymous said...

My drug addicted father would steal my pain medication after I had an accident as a teenager in which I broke my back. It's been many years since I have cut him out of my life (understandably), but I am still very paranoid. I think a proper safe is in order here, and may I humbly suggest Al-Anon, especially for your husband, who seems to condone her behaviour. I'm sorry to be so blunt, but a man who would let his mother's drug thievery FROM HIS CHILD AND HIS WIFE clearly has issues of his own.

kanishk said...

I miss all the drama! Work From Home