Tuesday, May 12, 2009

And Speaking of Racists - Chapter Two

Here is the second part of reader Chatterbox Sara's series. Read Chapter One below or HERE.


Two weeks after that phone call, I recieved a call out of the blue from my future-MIL. Apparently, she had realized I was not going away, so she decided to "make nice". She spent about three minutes asking about me, telling me about herself, and then launched into an hour- long monologue about what an awful human being my husband is. Some highlights included:

"You know he's a liar, right? When he was in 6th grade, he lied to me. I was heart broken for months. He said he got a good grade on a test, but I found out later that he DIDN'T. He got an 88% on that test! I just can't find it in my heart to forgive him. Everytime we speak, I find myself looking into his eyes, desperate to know if he's talling me the truth or if that's the liar devil in his eyes!"

"I just really hope he's still a virgin. Do you two have sex? What does he like? What's he like in bed. Did you steal his virginity from him? I always wonder whether he's actually secretly gay. I keep telling him that it's fine if he is gay, but he keeps denying it and getting mad at me. I wouldn't mind if he didn't get married. He's my only son you know, it would be nice if he moved home and just lived with us to take care of us when we get older. Well, you guys must be having sex if he wants to marry a woman with a kid."

"Are you a nigger? Do you drink or do drugs? How did you end up having a kid? Are you trying to get us to assume financial responsibility of that kid?"

19 comments:

Tammy Howard said...

Oh, she did NOT!!!

kmoye said...

you must be on your way to sainthood for having to deal with that woman.
she is whacked! whacked!

Sara Rose said...

Isn't she sad? The worse part is I always wish I was kidding about this nonsense. I know how incredible it all sounds, like I said when my husband first described her to me, I just didn''t even think it was possible. Lo and behold, it is possible. Ugh. She needs xanax.

Sarah said...

Oh boy - she really takes the biscuit!! You must have the patience of a saint to deal with her!!!!

Kristina P. said...

I thought she just hated her new DIL, but she also hates her son. Awesome!

The Wife O Riley said...

She definitely takes the prize for most crazy!!

It would have taken all my strength not to deck her! (or did you?)

Barb said...

Please, please tell me you're writing a book about this.

Killer said...

I hate racists!!!

Sara Rose said...

I should write a book, but may wait til she dies, if that ever happens. She's totally hateful towards my husband. He racism is disgusting. No, I've never slapped her but man, it would be so easy.

Anonymous said...

Sounds like she needs to take a long walk off a short pier.

Seriously though, why do you two even talk to her. I would say I was an orphan and never look back.

Anonymous said...

That's insane. Completely. How did she pull the n-word out of her arse??? You're a good one for putting up with this.

Sara Rose said...

We haven't spoken to her in nearly 1 1/2 years. It's been fantastic. But she still sends these long, insane, rambling guilt trip letters and cards because we've "ruined her life" by cutting ties. I have better things to do than give my aneurisms over wackos.

Kate the Great said...

Well, Sara, that's what you get into trying to trap their family into paying for your child.

Um...?

It's good you no longer talk to this woman.

Heather said...

Oh man - she tops my Mother In Law that's for sure.

Sara Rose said...

Kate- the Great- ahahahahahah!!!! I know right? Clearly I was trying to pin them for money. I don't even know that they have any and I don't really care. I'd rather make my own. You just made my morning!

April said...

Oh. My. Gawd. I just saw your comment on Kristina's blog...and HAD to come visit. This is SO hilarious.

darlin_virg said...

I think we should introduce your MIL to my ex-MIL and have them live miserably ever after...

The Rambler said...

Wow. Or more like Whoa? Not sure.

Just reading THIS post (the second one so far) I completely understand why you HATE your MIL.

Is she for real? MY Goodness.

Em said...

Whats he like in bed? Your not serious? A mother asked that about her son? I would have run for the hills! Well, I know this is an old post but I thought if I left a new comment it might get read and you could pass it on to chatterbox sara because I tried to follow her blog but it said you had to be invited. I'm already following yours. So - maybe I'll hear from you - we all could trade mother-in-law stories because me? I got stuck with a real winner.